Unspoken Bathroom Etiquette for Men

The big difference between male and female restrooms is that men have urinals. Guys don’t need to sit down when and that’s probably why our visits take considerably less time. Urinals allow men the freedom to quickly move in and out of relieving ourselves. What most people don’t know is that there is an unspoken bathroom etiquette that absolutely must be followed. If you don’t know these rules, then read on.
Some inconsiderate people take too much liberty when peeing that it invades other peoples personal space. Don’t be that person. Be a good guy and follow etiquette.
Some basic do’s and don’ts while engaged in your business:
  • DO keep your distance while waiting in line
  • DO quickly do your business and leave
  • DO wash your hands after
  • DON’T ask the person if he’s done
  • DON’T try to peek if the person engaged is taking too long
  • DON’T take your pants off just to pee. (that’s what your fly is for)
  • DON’T pee next to someone (we’ll cover more on this) ; and the most important rule of all…
  • DON’T make eye contact when engaged 
Now that the easy part is over, the next part will talk the different situations that you will get into when walking into a washroom:
One Urinal
This is easy. If there’s no one engaged, then go ahead. Else, wait for your turn.


Two Urinals

This isn’t as simple as it sounds. If you go in and there’s no one, then lucky you, pick the one that’s farther from the door, so after you go, you can wash up and leave immediately. If you go in and there’s someone engaged, then just wait for them to finish. DO NOT PEE NEXT TO THEM! Wash your hands, comb your hair, look around but DON’T use the urinal. There’s nothing worse than having to pee next to someone.

Three Urinals
This should be easy as long as everyone has their etiquette down. If there’s only 1 person then he should be in either stall 1 or 3. If so, then you can also use one as long as no one uses stall 2. If you go in and there’s someone in stall 2 then that person is the lowest of low and deserves to be shot in the face. Same thing, if you go in and stalls 1 and 3 are occupied, then just wait until one frees up. If there’s no one, then follow the previous rule that you use the one farthest from the door.

 Four Urinals
Urinal heaven? This one’s easier than it sounds. If there’s no one engaged, just pick the cleanest one. That way, the maximum number of people that can use it (2) without violating any rules can still be maintained.


Now that you have the basics down, you can now handle any number of urinals the world throws at you. If there are no more options then you can either use a cubicle (just don’t sit down) or just break etiquette and be “that guy” who people will look down on. I have done my part to make the world a better place to live in, make sure you do yours.
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